|
Post by JayPhreakThr3e9 on Aug 10, 2006 21:25:06 GMT -5
its from camp........a favorite of the kids during the talent show.
Roses are pink, Daiseys have white, I wanna fly high, just like a big kite.
sorry I have writters block.
|
|
|
Post by Brok3n4God on Aug 11, 2006 16:52:54 GMT -5
lol
|
|
|
Post by Ash on Sept 24, 2006 14:33:49 GMT -5
During one of my several struggles within the last two months, I began writing a story about it. Here's some of what I have thus far::
She laid there in the darkness as endless tears raced down her pale, fragile face in the morning’s early dawn. It was haunting her again. That same vivid portrait of Shame and Fear in unmistakable colors and sounds that was creating enormous waves in and out of her mind. She had made many mistakes, but none this repetitive that would change her life so dramatically before.
Walking the hallways of the college, she heard her friends calling out to her, asking her why she let the things that were once treasures in her life slip away. She hated herself. She wanted to call back, or at least run in search of a lonely corner to cry in. “This is college. College students don’t cry, especially in public”, she thought. Quickening her pace, she kept her deepest feelings unknown to the world and headed for the nearest door leading to her car.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her love for church had grown ever since she was a child, but she had never felt like she belonged to anyone anywhere, like a lost puppy without searching and concerned owners. But this church, had by far reached out to her more than any other ever could.
Things were different now. Everybody knew everybody else and everyone had more than their share in friends; there was hardly a row that didn’t complete itself. There were friendly faces in every room, every hall, laughing, giggling, and just having a good time together after a long, hard week. There were new friends and friends who had long since been attending the little church years and years before. It was enough to bring a smile to anyone’s face.
Suddenly stage lights were competing for the brightest performance as the band took to the first verse of “History Maker” in wild beats that wouldn’t allow a single ear to miss. She stood there in her usual placement just moments before…OOOSHH! Shame and Fear hit her so hard that blood rushed to her head, as veins plumped to a size even a handicapped nurse couldn’t miss, and her eyes swelled up in icy pools before the third stanza in the chorus was reached. She stood there dumbfounded as if hiding it would be easy, unable to realize that this time it would be as a murder cleaning up a death scene in a short amount of time.
Wasting no more time, she wiped her face before turning and quickly exited, hoping that no one had noticed and if they had, there would be no sort of unusual impressions. “Why? Why?? WHY!?” her mind searched for answers. “Now what? I can’t go back in there like this! Mom…”
The church hallways ran like rivers into lakes. Empty, and the sounds of the youth band echoed through the dead halls like bad memories. Ceiling lights lit every hallway, but through her pierced, red eyes, it was the same as darkness. She ran.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her mother was sitting in the middle row of people, her long, shiny hair showing off itself anyway it could. She watched her daughter join her side in service, instinctively knowing that something was up. She gave her daughter a sermon notes page to fill in the blanks and comforted her any way should could without causing interruption.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tears eventually ceased and she played like nothing was wrong but her terrible sinuses. New feelings arose inside. She did not fight, but ran once again, ran to her mother. How could she ever survive on her own if she couldn’t even fight this one little irk? A coward. That’s what she was. A college-sized coward running to one unknown and her mommy. If this was just change she was dealing with, she couldn’t find why this was any different than any other life-change she’s had to undergo.
She knew she had been fighting this same battle for several weeks. It was finding the strength to defeat it once and for all that was her struggle. God loved her and she would never allow that to be forgotten no matter how depressed, but she did wonder if perhaps this whole battle was a test. If so, has she failed miserably? It would seem a safe bet right about now. If not, then what would her excuse be? Was she just being dramatic to get attention? She knew in her heart that she would never put herself through this suffering just to get noticed. Popularity had never been an option for her.
This was also the second time she was attacked during a church service. She had to consider that in her calculations. Whatever she was dealing with obviously wasn’t afraid to confront her regardless of surroundings.
Her mind, held at unease, continued scrambling through answers and ideas, trying to sort out one from another.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Outdoors, casting shadows crept along the busy parking lot carrying death with them, dancing upon walls of the church building in celebration, snickering and laughing over their prized victory of the night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmares real and imaginary haunted her daily and her lack of strength in spirit was passing over through her physical body. She felt exhausted most of the time, willing to do nothing but sleep and listen to music to suit her static mood.
“..And you will need continue 2.6 for next class period,” the math professor informed. “Don’t forget to turn in your homework.”
She closed her book and headed for the door. The car ride seemed longer than usual, which gave her time to think. Within minutes, Fear was harnessing it’s power inside of her, taking over her mind, her thoughts.
Pulling up into the driveway, face red from weeping, she dried her tears and headed straight for her bedroom without pause. She threw down her backpack, took off her shoes and lay in bed until her mind allowed her some rest.
Struggles remained, tormenting her, pressing firm against her and some even leaving her feeling subject to them alone for what seemed an eternity. She continued attending church at regular times and even tried a small fasting of ordinary, everyday junk foods. But her wounds soon became unbearable to such an extent that she began loosing even the limited portions of confidence in herself she had. She could no longer see herself as a form of beauty, nor did she feel able to even stand up in front of people or on a stage without wanting to hide her shame.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I can’t believe how much blood they took. I realize it’s needed, but after all, it was mine first,” she said with a smile.
They laughed as they walked out of the blood donor’s building toward the parking lot.
“I’m glad we went though ‘cuz I mean, it is for a good cause and I’ve heard it’s wise to donate some anyways,” Richard promoted.
“Me too.”
Cars were passing by on the busy road in front of them as they both paused, waiting for the other to bring up the next subject at hand.
“Hey are you going to church tonight?” he asked.
She hesitated, and then replied, “Yeah, I was thinking about it. Are you?”
“Of course.”
“Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering.”
Passing a curious look, she blurted “okay” and they headed off in different directions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The night was young and just about everyone who showed up had a mysterious and unusual excitement about them....
That's all I have; I haven't really had to time finish. Most of what I have written so far has occured and what I have felt many times during my struggles. I don't talk to friends (other than Sarah and Todd...I see them at work) about my problems, usually because they can't give me the rest I need and, well, there are just some things you have to experience and learn on your own.
|
|
|
Post by Brok3n4God on Sept 25, 2006 17:19:18 GMT -5
God's Blessings
God loves me. How do I know? He gives flowers in spring, And the sun's golden glow. He gives me hills clad in green, glossy coats. He gives sweet, gentle music In the bird's liquid notes. He gives me trees, both rugged and tall, Laden with fruit, both summer and fall. He gives me my garden, both fragrant and fair, And snow white lilies that bloom by the wall. In winter he gives me pure, white snow, And bright candles burning While the yule logs glow. He gives me both family and friends To cherish and love, while peace wraps my heart Like the wings of a dove.
WRITER: Eva Darrington Rule
All my poems are like when im upset so therefor i dont like sharing it
|
|